I want to be
like the waves on the sea,
like the clouds in the wind,
but I'm me.
One day I'll jump
out of my skin
I'll shake the sky
like a hundred violins.
- Sandra Cisneros, "House on Mango Street", Photo by Ray Sebastian
Dig deep dig deep the writings of Chicana authors have whispered to me. You aren't your color, you aren't your gender, you aren't a wife, mother or daughter. Spark. You are a song you are a shout you are a dream you are a state of being.
“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” - Rumi (Painting Yuri Shimojo)
"And light has no weight, Yet one is lifted on its flood, Swept high, Running up white-golden light-shafts, As if one were as weightless as light itself – All gold and white and light." Lawren Harris, Painter 1885-1970
No coward soul is mine, / No trembler in the world's storm-troubled sphere; / I see Heaven's glories shine, / And, Faith shines equal, arming me from Fear. (Emily Bronte)
In the quiet my heart opens. An invisible, infinite key for an invisible, infinite door. Sensing fear's grip has slipped, I smile.
There is something about the women in Almodovar's films that always inspires me to embrace my imperfections. My little scars, my idiosyncrasies, the strength I've gained from living through a sad story which somehow becomes funny over time. The beauty of being too much.
(From "Volver")
Heart full. Ripe. Multifaceted. Even with the grace of age, never boring in his films.
On Friday, after a clearing in the snowstorm that had been relentless since the morning before, I drove my daughter to Connecticut to watch a performance of Amalia Hernandez's Ballet Folklorico de Mexico. She loves dance and I couldn't pass up the opportunity for her first professional dance recital to be watching Mexico's best.
My daughter would ask me questions and I was surprised by how much I was able to answer: This dance is from Veracruz (my favorite!) and after the women, the men will come out and dance on the boxes...She's a skeleton because death is part of life and Mexicans make fun of death...The women dancers are wearing guns because they are Adelita's and they fought with their men in the war. I knew the old stories, I knew the old dances, I knew the words to the old songs. It's a little golden string that connects me to my family, to my culture and to my ancestors. When I hear the mariachi and watch the folklorico..those I love are right there with me - no matter how near or far, alive or passed.
Most Cultures have their ways...their songs, their dances, their old stories. As soon as one person begins a song, no matter how old or young - friend or stranger - no matter how rich or poor - anyone can jump in and they all come together and become one.
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