Magnetic Zero

Jade's joy is infectious...4min30sec is my favorite part...



"What we've been trying to do since the beginning of this climb is to not stray from the beauty and openness that started it. We want to keep things real and open and adventurous and be sure the spirit of joy is still in it." - Alex Albert

"I felt like a robot, like I was ignoring my instincts and at the end of my rope. But then I had a sort of renaissance. I began asking myself, "What did I want to do as a kid?" I was in AA at this time, but I stopped going and for the first time in so long I felt wonder return to my eyes and my heart. The idea of love had been BS to me, but now it felt powerful again. Jade and I hooked up during this transition, and love was kind of something we rediscovered together. She and I began making music in its most elementary form – we sang in unison, sometimes out of key. We were making music with horns and strings and background vocals and percussion. And without even realizing it at first, this album and this band started happening."

-Alex Ebert on moving from Ima Robot to creating Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros

* Quotes taken from "Music Monday: 15 Minutes With Alex Ebert (aka Edward Sharpe)" by Jessica Clefati, Mother Jones

The Muses

The breeze of dawn has secrets to tell you.
Don't go back to sleep.
You must ask for what you really want.
Don't go back to sleep
People are going back and forth
across the doors where
the two worlds touch.
The door is round and open.
Don't go back to sleep.

~Rumi

In a recent Wisdom University workshop I was blessed to be in the company of 20 or so silver crowned muses. A few men, but mostly women over 50 and a couple of them into their early 70's made up the bulk of the participants. I had come to the workshop with the intention of giving myself some creative space and hadn't had the time to think about it much to form any expectations. But, when I first walked into the the room being used for "Body Prayer" led by Bruce Silverman I quickly realized I hadn't expected the difference in age between myself and the rest of the group. "Alright, where is this going?," I thought. The women from first look appeared like ordinary women of mature age wearing easy spirit shoes and granny clothes made for comfort (NO, actually not at all but gotchya!).

Bruce raised his hand and brought it down on his drum and BOOM, these women were moving. Holy crap, these women don't hold back. I thought of something a friend told me about old school NYC in the 70's and 80's...if you weren't dancing at the club- you had no business on the dance floor...so if you're shy or you don't dance..get to steppin' cause you're taking up space.

So I moved.

I moved all week. BOOM. Out of my comfort zone. BOOM. Out of where I felt safe. BOOM. Out of my preconceptions. BOOM Out of my misconceptions. BOOM. Out of my false sense of self. BOOM right into a deeper sense of me. BOOM into real beauty. BOOM into this next stage of womanesssssssss.

Because let me tell you....when you're in a a room with women who glow from the inside and fill a room with their light.....Who's deep lines were formed by the drips of joy and sorrow experienced in life...and the sparkle in their eye looks to the future ahead....a thirty something like me has no excuses to not- BOOM. Shed her old skin.

Once a snake sheds it's old skin. It never tries to put it back on. In fact it never goes anywhere near it.


The workshop was amazing...I did get a chance to write. To create and create over and over again for a week straight. That in itself was fulfilling and desperately longed for. But, I have experienced a deeper sense of the Divine and myself in the Divine through my Paramita Work (www.paramitapath.org). I meditate a lot. I do light healing on myself and others. I brainwash myself with positive thoughts until it's second nature. I will to be of service in all I do. I surrender myself and all I think I am. But, lately, I've been struggling with the physical-ness of being. With where I am in terms of age. Where do I fit as a thirty something quickly pushing forty-ish woman? Where is my place? In this heavy world? In this everything-is-disposable country I call home? In this fabulous metropolis where there is always someone younger...nipping at your heels (as I've heard so many of my friends declare in exasperated breath)?

Thirty-something is the Tween of Middle Age. Not "hot" and in your 20's anymore and not yet 40 and "over the hill".

Being in the presence of these women was medicine for me. In an earthy, OK I'll say it - in a embracing your inner Goddess kind of way. They helped me see the true beauty I acquire from every year that falls behind me. To really own the thought twinkles I had which I wasn't sure I should have like...I love the way my silver strands are growing in.....or I appreciate my body so much more now than I did 20 years ago (wow, I can say TWENTY years ago).

In fact, almost 20 years ago, I remember driving up to SF with a friend and talking about working out (I was a beast at the gym) and he told me how I had to keep it up and not "lose" it. "I only plan to get better with age", was my annoyed response. I assure you when I said it I wasn't declaring my life's mantra. But, I don't believe in aging or growing old in the classical sense (ask anyone in their 20's, 30's or 40's who's dared to say they are "old" in my presence - why do they do that!). It is my plan to get better with age - which is not dependent on working out as often as I once did. My waist isn't as small but my heart is big. My breasts may not be as perky but my life is full. My face may not be as smooth but I am filled with peace.

I can hear the women's voices now, as we often recited out loud during the workshop:

The breeze of dawn has secrets to tell you.
Don't go back to sleep.
You must ask for what you really want.
Don't go back to sleep
People are going back and forth
across the doors where
the two worlds touch.
The door is round and open.
Don't go back to sleep.

~Rumi

Thank you ladies.

+ Little Miss Shiny

Don't Worry Be Happy.

     Alright Alright.  So the inauguration is over and that sense of bliss is somehow slowly fading away as you leave the grocery store with only 2 bags (not even full) and $75 bucks less in your pocket.  When did lemons start costing $1.00 EACH?   Obama has his sights set on the future and so do we but in the meantime it's our job to stay afloat and find things that make us happy. Change is good.  A very wise woman once told me..as many times as you can remember say to yourself "change is good, it works for me not against me".  I can't tell you how often playing that like a broken record in my head has gotten me through ridiculously tough times. 

I have a tendency to resist change.  I have worked like a beast not to and thus suffer needless worry and stress.  Lucky for me, change shows up at my door frequently.  As some of you know I began working on an Oil Trading Desk this past year.    I thought I would hate this job.  I thought for sure it was a change that meant the time had come for me to leave the corporate nipple.  If you don't change the Universe will find a way to force your right? (Thanks Republicans for giving us 8 years of Bush to bring in the change this country so desperately needed!) 

 But, as it turns out I've met some amazing people and learned a lot.  Before all the drama of Oil prices going out of control I had an interesting conversation with one of the big shot caller traders on the desk.  I was expressing my concern that if oil prices went too high what this would mean  not just our country but the rest of the world.  Would this bring civil unrest in some places? (it did) Would food prices go up?  (it did)  Would people suffer as a result? (they did)  His response caught me by surprise.  He said well if it goes up then the country and the world have no choice but to change and find alternate fuels and alter the way they live. (we did).  The prices sky rocketed and have recently tanked.  They've tanked because as a country we changed.  We used less gas.  The world used less gas.  Now, I don't know if this change will stick.  But the point is if we wanted to we can all make a difference.  Quickly.  If the intention is there.  This little oil example occurred in the space of SIX months.  In the summer we had bets on how high it would go (it went higher than anyone had guessed) and by December we were placing bets on how low it would hit by December 31st (it went lower than anyone had imagined.  What if everyone suddenly decided....I'm gonna grow my own vegetables.  I'm gonna sew my own clothes.  I'm going to volunteer 2 hours a week to someone who needs help.  

But, I digress......my point of bringing up the fact that all of sudden 20 bucks in our pocket feels like five is...and the fact that many people are losing their jobs is....maybe it's an opportunity to find joy in little things.  Wow the snow looks beautiful outside...or if you are in California you notice how pretty the hills look at dusk.  Maybe you spend more time with your friends watching a movie at home or making dinner instead of going out some place where it's too loud to hear one another.  Those little things that when we are all wrapped up in the warmth of that beauty the worries become smaller and the feeling of happiness grows bigger as it always should.       

 And that is goooooood.  

DON'T WORRY BE HAPPY. (click)

Sorry! this video was removed by the time I posted..weird! But if you click on the Title above "Don't worry be happy" it will direct you to the video.  Enjoy!