Did I ever tell you my story about Bjork?

I've been thinking quite a bit lately about this blog and my plans to revamp it around the idea of creativity-spirituality-art. A few things keep on replaying in my mind: the act of creating, inspiration and freedom. What do these mean? What do I want to say about them? And during this process, different artists names have come to mind: Bill Viola, Twist (yes, I'm putting them in the same sentence) and then today Bjork creeped into my thoughts.

Now you can love or hate her music. It's one or the other. One thing you can't deny is the woman is inspired. She's moved to create. She's given herself the freedom to do it her way. I don't like all her music. But the fact that she exists and IS and DOES I find Inspiring.

Now to my Bjork story. The year is 1988 or so...and I'm in highschool. It's a school night but I really want to go to One Step Beyond and hang out. If memory serves me correct it was a Wednesday and Tara was down to go. We show up and the place is dead. There couldn't be more than 20 people there to watch some band called the Sugarcubes who are scheduled to play. Tara and I sat down and ordered a drink (non alcohol of course) and as we are sitting there the tinniest little girl walked in through the front door with two men behind her but I barely noticed them. I was completely transfixed by her being. Seeing her was like realizing fairies were real and one had just waltzed in. She was ethereal. Her face was smooth and white as alabaster and her hair a shock of black. She had a deep part; hair was combed over and right in the middle of her head she wore a wide, shiny red hairpin to keep it in place. It was an awkward placement. I couldn't stop staring at it. That pin was like a koan to my brain -"WHAT IS THE SOUND OF ONE HAND CLAPPING?" I'm sure my mind melted a bit. It definitely expanded. I can't remember the top she wore but I do recall her skirt made out of stretchy material with a wire at the bottom seam. It was a perfect replica of the skirt the Jetson's mom wore, only silver. Honestly, my world was never the same after seeing her. All I can remember thinking was "Where the F$#@ did she come from?" and being so in awe of someone who was so honestly themselves.

A short time later, she ended up on stage singing God knows what. I couldn't understand a word she said and the music was so new my brain really could not process it all. Tara and I did not stay long after that but Bjork, who was soon after to became a huge success, forever become a symbol to me of the act of being inspired, free and surrendering to the act of creating.

The Muses

The breeze of dawn has secrets to tell you.
Don't go back to sleep.
You must ask for what you really want.
Don't go back to sleep
People are going back and forth
across the doors where
the two worlds touch.
The door is round and open.
Don't go back to sleep.

~Rumi

In a recent Wisdom University workshop I was blessed to be in the company of 20 or so silver crowned muses. A few men, but mostly women over 50 and a couple of them into their early 70's made up the bulk of the participants. I had come to the workshop with the intention of giving myself some creative space and hadn't had the time to think about it much to form any expectations. But, when I first walked into the the room being used for "Body Prayer" led by Bruce Silverman I quickly realized I hadn't expected the difference in age between myself and the rest of the group. "Alright, where is this going?," I thought. The women from first look appeared like ordinary women of mature age wearing easy spirit shoes and granny clothes made for comfort (NO, actually not at all but gotchya!).

Bruce raised his hand and brought it down on his drum and BOOM, these women were moving. Holy crap, these women don't hold back. I thought of something a friend told me about old school NYC in the 70's and 80's...if you weren't dancing at the club- you had no business on the dance floor...so if you're shy or you don't dance..get to steppin' cause you're taking up space.

So I moved.

I moved all week. BOOM. Out of my comfort zone. BOOM. Out of where I felt safe. BOOM. Out of my preconceptions. BOOM Out of my misconceptions. BOOM. Out of my false sense of self. BOOM right into a deeper sense of me. BOOM into real beauty. BOOM into this next stage of womanesssssssss.

Because let me tell you....when you're in a a room with women who glow from the inside and fill a room with their light.....Who's deep lines were formed by the drips of joy and sorrow experienced in life...and the sparkle in their eye looks to the future ahead....a thirty something like me has no excuses to not- BOOM. Shed her old skin.

Once a snake sheds it's old skin. It never tries to put it back on. In fact it never goes anywhere near it.


The workshop was amazing...I did get a chance to write. To create and create over and over again for a week straight. That in itself was fulfilling and desperately longed for. But, I have experienced a deeper sense of the Divine and myself in the Divine through my Paramita Work (www.paramitapath.org). I meditate a lot. I do light healing on myself and others. I brainwash myself with positive thoughts until it's second nature. I will to be of service in all I do. I surrender myself and all I think I am. But, lately, I've been struggling with the physical-ness of being. With where I am in terms of age. Where do I fit as a thirty something quickly pushing forty-ish woman? Where is my place? In this heavy world? In this everything-is-disposable country I call home? In this fabulous metropolis where there is always someone younger...nipping at your heels (as I've heard so many of my friends declare in exasperated breath)?

Thirty-something is the Tween of Middle Age. Not "hot" and in your 20's anymore and not yet 40 and "over the hill".

Being in the presence of these women was medicine for me. In an earthy, OK I'll say it - in a embracing your inner Goddess kind of way. They helped me see the true beauty I acquire from every year that falls behind me. To really own the thought twinkles I had which I wasn't sure I should have like...I love the way my silver strands are growing in.....or I appreciate my body so much more now than I did 20 years ago (wow, I can say TWENTY years ago).

In fact, almost 20 years ago, I remember driving up to SF with a friend and talking about working out (I was a beast at the gym) and he told me how I had to keep it up and not "lose" it. "I only plan to get better with age", was my annoyed response. I assure you when I said it I wasn't declaring my life's mantra. But, I don't believe in aging or growing old in the classical sense (ask anyone in their 20's, 30's or 40's who's dared to say they are "old" in my presence - why do they do that!). It is my plan to get better with age - which is not dependent on working out as often as I once did. My waist isn't as small but my heart is big. My breasts may not be as perky but my life is full. My face may not be as smooth but I am filled with peace.

I can hear the women's voices now, as we often recited out loud during the workshop:

The breeze of dawn has secrets to tell you.
Don't go back to sleep.
You must ask for what you really want.
Don't go back to sleep
People are going back and forth
across the doors where
the two worlds touch.
The door is round and open.
Don't go back to sleep.

~Rumi

Thank you ladies.

+ Little Miss Shiny

Greet the Light Inside

"My grandmother used to tell me that as you sat in Quaker silence you were to go inside to greet the light. That expression stuck with me." James Turrell, From the interview titled "Greeting the Light" by Richard Whittaker at www.conversations.org

Years ago I studied in London and when the time came for me to return to California, one of the last things I did was go see a James Turrell exhibit with my best friend. I had no idea who he was, or what he did, but because there was a line to get into the room of his installation we decided to check it out.

Only a few people were allowed in at a time. Our turn finally came and we entered into a very large dark room with a far wall lit up in a beautiful hue of blue. The room was massive, with an extremely high ceiling, very wide and the far wall was some distance away. We slowly approached the lit up wall and all I could think of was "this is lame", "what's so great about a big room with one wall lit up?"

We casually walked closer and closer all the while I my "Cosmopolitan" brain wasn't able to get what the big deal was. Sure, it was a nice blue, but does lighting up a wall constitute fine art? It would make a nice party room (I was young, forgive me). We finally reached the wall and I stood there staring at it and then all at once I gasped, I raised my arm and reached out in front of me. I felt my mind and entire body expand, there was no wall.



Only light.







in light...little miss shiny

Don't Worry Be Happy.

     Alright Alright.  So the inauguration is over and that sense of bliss is somehow slowly fading away as you leave the grocery store with only 2 bags (not even full) and $75 bucks less in your pocket.  When did lemons start costing $1.00 EACH?   Obama has his sights set on the future and so do we but in the meantime it's our job to stay afloat and find things that make us happy. Change is good.  A very wise woman once told me..as many times as you can remember say to yourself "change is good, it works for me not against me".  I can't tell you how often playing that like a broken record in my head has gotten me through ridiculously tough times. 

I have a tendency to resist change.  I have worked like a beast not to and thus suffer needless worry and stress.  Lucky for me, change shows up at my door frequently.  As some of you know I began working on an Oil Trading Desk this past year.    I thought I would hate this job.  I thought for sure it was a change that meant the time had come for me to leave the corporate nipple.  If you don't change the Universe will find a way to force your right? (Thanks Republicans for giving us 8 years of Bush to bring in the change this country so desperately needed!) 

 But, as it turns out I've met some amazing people and learned a lot.  Before all the drama of Oil prices going out of control I had an interesting conversation with one of the big shot caller traders on the desk.  I was expressing my concern that if oil prices went too high what this would mean  not just our country but the rest of the world.  Would this bring civil unrest in some places? (it did) Would food prices go up?  (it did)  Would people suffer as a result? (they did)  His response caught me by surprise.  He said well if it goes up then the country and the world have no choice but to change and find alternate fuels and alter the way they live. (we did).  The prices sky rocketed and have recently tanked.  They've tanked because as a country we changed.  We used less gas.  The world used less gas.  Now, I don't know if this change will stick.  But the point is if we wanted to we can all make a difference.  Quickly.  If the intention is there.  This little oil example occurred in the space of SIX months.  In the summer we had bets on how high it would go (it went higher than anyone had guessed) and by December we were placing bets on how low it would hit by December 31st (it went lower than anyone had imagined.  What if everyone suddenly decided....I'm gonna grow my own vegetables.  I'm gonna sew my own clothes.  I'm going to volunteer 2 hours a week to someone who needs help.  

But, I digress......my point of bringing up the fact that all of sudden 20 bucks in our pocket feels like five is...and the fact that many people are losing their jobs is....maybe it's an opportunity to find joy in little things.  Wow the snow looks beautiful outside...or if you are in California you notice how pretty the hills look at dusk.  Maybe you spend more time with your friends watching a movie at home or making dinner instead of going out some place where it's too loud to hear one another.  Those little things that when we are all wrapped up in the warmth of that beauty the worries become smaller and the feeling of happiness grows bigger as it always should.       

 And that is goooooood.  

DON'T WORRY BE HAPPY. (click)

Sorry! this video was removed by the time I posted..weird! But if you click on the Title above "Don't worry be happy" it will direct you to the video.  Enjoy!

The Humanitarians

I love when things seem to just come together. I've begun putting down on paper my idea for a center that combines art and healing. The same day I started writing it down, I received emails out of no where from people I had mentioned the idea to in the past wanting to help and introduce me to others with similar dreams. Very exciting. It should come as no surprise that the magic continues today with an invite for a panel discussion at Corridor Gallery in Brooklyn called "Humanitarians". They will be discussing the question. "When the path is steep and the outcome uncertain, what compels us to help those in need?" The panelists are 5 creators who persistently come to the aid of others. I've been on the super lookout for events and workshops where I can learn more about being creative and being of service to others at the same time. Good lookin' out universe! Thanks!

For more information on Corridor Gallery visit their website: http://www.corridorgallerybrooklyn.org/

stay peace-

+ little miss shiny

Gracias a la Vida

a friend posted this blast from the past on his facebook. i LOVE mercedes sosa and this song is one of my favorites. below you can find the english translation to this song written by violeta parra. my heart gets big just listening to the song. vida, yes, I am very grateful. even when i'm sad, or mad, or scared, frustrated or at my wits end....in those times especially it's imperative to remember the little things that make life a beautiful song.




IN GRATITUDE TO LIFE

Thank you, Life, for you gave me so much.
You gave me two stars for eyes and when I open them
I can perfectly distinguish black from white
And up above in the skies the constellations
And in the crowds the man I love.

Thank you, Life, for you gave me so much.
You gave me ears so that I can hear
And record the sounds day and night of
Crickets, canaries, factories, dogs barking,
The rain falling, and the sweet voice of my loved one.

Thank you, Life, for you gave me so much.
You gave me the sounds and the alphabet
And with them the words I think of and declare
Mother, friend, brother and light shining
Over the route of my loved one's soul.

Thank you, Life, for you gave me so much.
You gave my tired feet the strength to walk
On them I have visited cities and potholes
Beaches and deserts, mountains and valleys
And your house, your street, your backyard.

Thank you, Life, for you gave me so much.
You gave me my heart that beats like a drum
When I see the fruits of the human brain
When I see good so far away from evil
When I look in the depth of your beautiful eyes.

Thank you, Life, for you gave me so much.
You gave me laughter and tears
So I can express happiness and sorrow
The two elements my songs are made of
And your songs, which are like my songs,
And everybody's songs, which are also mine.

Thank you Life.