Magnetic Zero

Jade's joy is infectious...4min30sec is my favorite part...



"What we've been trying to do since the beginning of this climb is to not stray from the beauty and openness that started it. We want to keep things real and open and adventurous and be sure the spirit of joy is still in it." - Alex Albert

"I felt like a robot, like I was ignoring my instincts and at the end of my rope. But then I had a sort of renaissance. I began asking myself, "What did I want to do as a kid?" I was in AA at this time, but I stopped going and for the first time in so long I felt wonder return to my eyes and my heart. The idea of love had been BS to me, but now it felt powerful again. Jade and I hooked up during this transition, and love was kind of something we rediscovered together. She and I began making music in its most elementary form – we sang in unison, sometimes out of key. We were making music with horns and strings and background vocals and percussion. And without even realizing it at first, this album and this band started happening."

-Alex Ebert on moving from Ima Robot to creating Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros

* Quotes taken from "Music Monday: 15 Minutes With Alex Ebert (aka Edward Sharpe)" by Jessica Clefati, Mother Jones

"The creator of the world paints on, carelessly throughout the day" - Tagore

In 1913, Rabindranath Tagore became the first non-European to win the Nobel Prize for Literature. He also happened to write one of my favorite love poems.

Unending Love

I seem to have loved you in numberless forms, numberless times…
In life after life, in age after age, forever.
My spellbound heart has made and remade the necklace of songs,
That you take as a gift, wear round your neck in your many forms,
In life after life, in age after age, forever.

Whenever I hear old chronicles of love, it's age-old pain,
It's ancient tale of being apart or together.
As I stare on and on into the past, in the end you emerge,
Clad in the light of a pole-star piercing the darkness of time:
You become an image of what is remembered forever.

You and I have floated here on the stream that brings from the fount.
At the heart of time, love of one for another.
We have played along side millions of lovers, shared in the same
Shy sweetness of meeting, the same distressful tears of farewell-
Old love but in shapes that renew and renew forever.

Today it is heaped at your feet, it has found its end in you
The love of all man’s days both past and forever:
Universal joy, universal sorrow, universal life.
The memories of all loves merging with this one love of ours –
And the songs of every poet past and forever.

~Rabindranath Tagore

The Muses

The breeze of dawn has secrets to tell you.
Don't go back to sleep.
You must ask for what you really want.
Don't go back to sleep
People are going back and forth
across the doors where
the two worlds touch.
The door is round and open.
Don't go back to sleep.

~Rumi

In a recent Wisdom University workshop I was blessed to be in the company of 20 or so silver crowned muses. A few men, but mostly women over 50 and a couple of them into their early 70's made up the bulk of the participants. I had come to the workshop with the intention of giving myself some creative space and hadn't had the time to think about it much to form any expectations. But, when I first walked into the the room being used for "Body Prayer" led by Bruce Silverman I quickly realized I hadn't expected the difference in age between myself and the rest of the group. "Alright, where is this going?," I thought. The women from first look appeared like ordinary women of mature age wearing easy spirit shoes and granny clothes made for comfort (NO, actually not at all but gotchya!).

Bruce raised his hand and brought it down on his drum and BOOM, these women were moving. Holy crap, these women don't hold back. I thought of something a friend told me about old school NYC in the 70's and 80's...if you weren't dancing at the club- you had no business on the dance floor...so if you're shy or you don't dance..get to steppin' cause you're taking up space.

So I moved.

I moved all week. BOOM. Out of my comfort zone. BOOM. Out of where I felt safe. BOOM. Out of my preconceptions. BOOM Out of my misconceptions. BOOM. Out of my false sense of self. BOOM right into a deeper sense of me. BOOM into real beauty. BOOM into this next stage of womanesssssssss.

Because let me tell you....when you're in a a room with women who glow from the inside and fill a room with their light.....Who's deep lines were formed by the drips of joy and sorrow experienced in life...and the sparkle in their eye looks to the future ahead....a thirty something like me has no excuses to not- BOOM. Shed her old skin.

Once a snake sheds it's old skin. It never tries to put it back on. In fact it never goes anywhere near it.


The workshop was amazing...I did get a chance to write. To create and create over and over again for a week straight. That in itself was fulfilling and desperately longed for. But, I have experienced a deeper sense of the Divine and myself in the Divine through my Paramita Work (www.paramitapath.org). I meditate a lot. I do light healing on myself and others. I brainwash myself with positive thoughts until it's second nature. I will to be of service in all I do. I surrender myself and all I think I am. But, lately, I've been struggling with the physical-ness of being. With where I am in terms of age. Where do I fit as a thirty something quickly pushing forty-ish woman? Where is my place? In this heavy world? In this everything-is-disposable country I call home? In this fabulous metropolis where there is always someone younger...nipping at your heels (as I've heard so many of my friends declare in exasperated breath)?

Thirty-something is the Tween of Middle Age. Not "hot" and in your 20's anymore and not yet 40 and "over the hill".

Being in the presence of these women was medicine for me. In an earthy, OK I'll say it - in a embracing your inner Goddess kind of way. They helped me see the true beauty I acquire from every year that falls behind me. To really own the thought twinkles I had which I wasn't sure I should have like...I love the way my silver strands are growing in.....or I appreciate my body so much more now than I did 20 years ago (wow, I can say TWENTY years ago).

In fact, almost 20 years ago, I remember driving up to SF with a friend and talking about working out (I was a beast at the gym) and he told me how I had to keep it up and not "lose" it. "I only plan to get better with age", was my annoyed response. I assure you when I said it I wasn't declaring my life's mantra. But, I don't believe in aging or growing old in the classical sense (ask anyone in their 20's, 30's or 40's who's dared to say they are "old" in my presence - why do they do that!). It is my plan to get better with age - which is not dependent on working out as often as I once did. My waist isn't as small but my heart is big. My breasts may not be as perky but my life is full. My face may not be as smooth but I am filled with peace.

I can hear the women's voices now, as we often recited out loud during the workshop:

The breeze of dawn has secrets to tell you.
Don't go back to sleep.
You must ask for what you really want.
Don't go back to sleep
People are going back and forth
across the doors where
the two worlds touch.
The door is round and open.
Don't go back to sleep.

~Rumi

Thank you ladies.

+ Little Miss Shiny

Greet the Light Inside

"My grandmother used to tell me that as you sat in Quaker silence you were to go inside to greet the light. That expression stuck with me." James Turrell, From the interview titled "Greeting the Light" by Richard Whittaker at www.conversations.org

Years ago I studied in London and when the time came for me to return to California, one of the last things I did was go see a James Turrell exhibit with my best friend. I had no idea who he was, or what he did, but because there was a line to get into the room of his installation we decided to check it out.

Only a few people were allowed in at a time. Our turn finally came and we entered into a very large dark room with a far wall lit up in a beautiful hue of blue. The room was massive, with an extremely high ceiling, very wide and the far wall was some distance away. We slowly approached the lit up wall and all I could think of was "this is lame", "what's so great about a big room with one wall lit up?"

We casually walked closer and closer all the while I my "Cosmopolitan" brain wasn't able to get what the big deal was. Sure, it was a nice blue, but does lighting up a wall constitute fine art? It would make a nice party room (I was young, forgive me). We finally reached the wall and I stood there staring at it and then all at once I gasped, I raised my arm and reached out in front of me. I felt my mind and entire body expand, there was no wall.



Only light.







in light...little miss shiny

The Humanitarians

I love when things seem to just come together. I've begun putting down on paper my idea for a center that combines art and healing. The same day I started writing it down, I received emails out of no where from people I had mentioned the idea to in the past wanting to help and introduce me to others with similar dreams. Very exciting. It should come as no surprise that the magic continues today with an invite for a panel discussion at Corridor Gallery in Brooklyn called "Humanitarians". They will be discussing the question. "When the path is steep and the outcome uncertain, what compels us to help those in need?" The panelists are 5 creators who persistently come to the aid of others. I've been on the super lookout for events and workshops where I can learn more about being creative and being of service to others at the same time. Good lookin' out universe! Thanks!

For more information on Corridor Gallery visit their website: http://www.corridorgallerybrooklyn.org/

stay peace-

+ little miss shiny

the "c" word. no not that one, the other one.

C-A-T-H-O-L-I-C. "catholic". there, i said it. now the only reason i bring it up is because this institution has been rearing it's head in my life lately and in a creative context. doesn't make sense i know, it's confused the h**l out of me too. because that "c" word, c-r-e-a-t-i-v-e, not the other one, happens to be one of my favorites. i'll admit it, i'm one of those reluctant catholics. one of those that says "well i was born catholic but i'm not really religious. or "i love the art and the beauty of the ritual but that's it". i have less trouble admitting and embracing my san jo-ness. (you san jo expats who claim sf or nyc you know who you are!)

there have been two things that have been a constant presence in my life the first is spirituality and the second is art. don't ask me why, but i realized through some recent experiences that there was a separation of the two inside my brain. even though i grew up with the beautiful images of michaelangelo and ruben somehow the word creative/fun and catholic didn't belong in the same world. the catholic part, i don't really think is important here. but the importance of the creative process and it's irrevocable tie to the expression of the human spirit...it's longing for a means to express all that is...well is important.

so ya, the pattern interrupt. what was it?

1. stumbling into an event one night as i walked my dog called the catholic underground. picture franciscan friars in grey robes rocking out. and they were really really good. so good that i actually went to their event a couple weeks later. i wasn't disappointed. www.catholicunderground.net. I had a brief conversation with the lead singer (weird) to just tell him how stunned I was to see ex skater boy looking monks using their art to share their joy. He got really excited and began telling me how people don't know about this part of the church (i'll say!) which leads me to the 2nd pattern interrupt:

2. pope john paul II wrote a letter to artists. i don't know about you but i found this shocking. if you care to read it, it's kind of long but with some very beautiful bits. google pope, letter to artists. sorry, i'm to lame to figure out how to paste this particular link so you're going to have to work for it.

3. a great article today in the sfgate entitled "the spirituality of andy warhol". who knew?

what i found profound was the interviewee...a 92 year old art historian named jane dillenberger and her description of how she experiences art. here is a link to the interview with jane dillenberger from the SF Gate. It really is worth the read:

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/g/a/2008/05/05/findrelig.DTL

i related to her description immensely because i've never been moved by the institution of church. but i have been by art, by theater, by song, by dance, poetry and literature. by little things like cherry blossom trees in spring and their flower petal rain. watching my daughter wake up and smile. seeing a stranger help someone they don't know. listening to the kids walk out laughing and smiliing from the ice cream shop across the street from my house.

seeker of truth

follow no path

all paths lead where

truth is here

- e.e cummings

that's the kind of stuff that helps my heart open up. that at the end of the day is what's what counts. that your heart opens up. we all have our own way.

xox little miss shiny